Tim's Dad Jokes

I made up these jokes, but they really emanate from the collective mind, so they are not copyright. Acknowledging their source, Dr Tim Metcalf of Australia, will appreciated

Q: How do worshippers show their gratitude to the god of air conditioning?

A: By singing Hallecoolyah

 

French Dad Jokes

 

Q: What do you call a Frenchman who urinates off the Eiffel tower?

A: Pierre

 

Q: What do you call a Frenchman who steals very expensive champagne?

A: Dominic

 

Not-French dad jokes

 

Q: What do you call a girl robot with titanium breasts?

A: Robust

 

Q: Centuries, ago, what was Pope Innocent III's favourite meal after burning some heretics?

A: Stake

 

Q: What do you call a large cow-like animal in a canoe that makes people's faces relax?

A: A boat-ox

 

Q: What did the nutritionist say to the annoying woman with an eating disorder?

A: Why don't you just go a-weigh!

 

Q: What did the chiropractor say to the miserable King of the Jungle?

A: You're out of a-lion-ment.

 

Q: What did the fish say to the arrogant potato?

A: I think you've got a chip on your shoulder.

 

Q: How can we support an ailing political goose?

A: Prop a gander

 

Q: What do you call an infertile cat that has used up all but one life?

A: Desixed

 

Q: What do you call a citrus tree that just won't bear fruit

A: A lemon.

 

Q: What do we call a poet happy with his beer?

A: ale 'n' arty

 

Q: Which is the best Australian city for Dragon Boating? Hoboat? Swellbourne? Spilldura? Drownsville? Sinkney? Or Berth?

A: None of the above. The winner is Paddle-aide

 

Q: What did the bored nuclear scientist say to his bored wife?

A: Gone fission

 

Q: Why is there no queue in McDonalds in space?

A: It's waitless.

 

Q: What do call an astronaut who went to McSpace burger so many times he couldn't get out of his suit and had to be jettisoned as useless cargo?

A: Space chunk

 

Q: What do you a naive person caught in their undies?

A: Underwary

 

Q: What do you call a sheep that can swim underwater?

A: A ewe-boat

 

Q: What did the visiting Zen master poet say to to his eager student?

A: Nothing